Desolation

My Beth Lee moved out last night, into the college dorm. This was the plan, and it's a great step forward for her. I'm proud of her, and I'm confident she is ready for this. But I am desolate with her gone. I don't think she knows how I feel, and that was part of my plan, too. But it's truly a case of hypocrisy, because I look like I'm doing o.k. but inside I am a mess and grieving the loss even though it's what I want for her. Things will never be the same again, and they shouldn't be, but I am in pain anyway. I don't know how to do this detaching without ripping my heart out.