From CAT to CAT

A few weeks ago, Beckie took the CAT for her standardized achievement test. We got her results back and she was in the 85th percentile overall. She was weakest in spelling, which dropped significantly since last year. I'm happy that she improved in math. I think she might now be at a level where she could take a few courses at a community college. As usual, she rocked out the language arts portion of the test, showing once again that I have reproduced myself in my student. Those were always my strongest areas, and what I enjoy teaching the most. I could probably just let Beckie move on to college courses in that, too, but I love teaching her literature and there are several books I want to be sure she reads before graduation from high school.

Later today I am also taking a CAT, but mine is a cat scan of my sinuses to see if a cause can be determined for my headache. This is the 8th week of the headache. I kind of think I could win either way it turns out. If I have something treatable, I'll get relief from the pain and more time with my family. If I have something that is not treatable but instead is terminal, I get to go home to Jesus. The worst outcome seems to be if nothing is found and I continue to have no relief from the headache.

Academic Snobbery

Josh has been friends with a certain girl for over 2 years. They've enjoyed each other's company and seemed to have a lot in common. I have had a few reservations about the relationship going beyond friendship since the girl is in college and has made a few derogatory comments about "lower classmen" since the time she was a junior. Since Josh is not in college and works full-time, I feared she might not respect him or would feel superior to him. This is never healthy in a relationship. I'm also not clear where she stands spiritually. Josh is a Christian, and his friend attended a church but seemed most interested in it because of the bell choir and music activities she was involved in at the church. She also has expressed some unusual views about relationships, including that she did not plan to date while in college so if someone asked her out anyway she would chew them up and spit them out just as they deserved for not heeding her warnings. Her own mother applauded the idea of dating around for the experiences without committing to any one person. Knowing this, Josh has been wisely cautious and they have remained "just friends". His friend has often made it a point to correct others when she believes they are mistaken or misguided about an area in which she considers herself to be an expert, and has not so subtly corrected others' grammar during casual conversation. I chalked most of this up to her social awkwardness, and Josh also is socially awkward at times. That in itself is not a big deal. The most hurtful thing I've heard in awhile came about this weekend when I learned from this girl's cousin about a recent conversation the relatives had about Josh. Josh's friend recently graduated and plans to go to grad school somewhere out of state in the fall. Josh and I attended her graduation, and my husband and daughter joined us for the graduation party afterward. We met the girl's parents for the first time at the party, although Josh had met them earlier when he went out to dinner with his friend and her parents when they were in town a few months ago. Sometime after Scott, Beckie, and I left the party Josh and his friend were in another area of the house when Josh's name was brought up. The girl's mother immediately said, "No! We're done with him." When questioned about it, she expressed the view that since her daughter had graduated she was also finished with Josh and would be moving on. She stated that everyone in her family has gone to college, and since Josh has not she and her husband do not want him associating with her newly graduated daughter. Fortunately, Josh did not hear these comments and since his friend was in the other room I'll never know if she would have defended him or not. Some of the relatives who have known Josh for years attempted to defend him to the girl's parents, but they were unswayed and not interested in continuing to discuss it. Since the girl is now living at home in another state until she starts grad school in the fall, she is surrounded by the influence she has grown up with - namely, the view that academic achievement is the most important quality by which a person should be assessed. Josh falls way short, in this family's view. Josh is very shy and it is difficult for him to make friends. Still, I do not want him involved in a family that cannot see his good qualities and thinks they are far better people than he is. Josh is actually quite intelligent, but he does not have letters after his name. He does not deserve to be involved with a family that views him as inferior and unworthy to be a part of their daughter's life. Personally, I think the girl who has until now been friends with Josh will be losing out by cutting him out of her life. It will be painful for Josh, who has done nothing to hurt or offend anyone in this girl's family. His only "crime" is that he does not have a college degree. In the long run Josh will be much better off pursuing other relationships where he can be an equal and is seen as a person of value.

Would You Survive?

When my son Josh was learning to read, it was an arduous process. He made steady progress, but had to work hard to remember the sounds represented by print and the various ways they blended into words. At the time I was teaching Josh to read, my next door neighbor had a daughter 11 months older than Josh. This little girl took books to bed with her at night, and basically taught herself to read as her mother read to her. Before long, and without any curriculum or structured lessons, this girl was reading independently. In the meantime, I struggled to stay awake after lunch when we did the reading lesson for the day. Sometimes it took Josh so long to decode a word that I'd start to nod off and Josh would ask if I was still awake. It didn't help that Josh was also hyperactive, and it was not unusual for his head to be on the floor and his rear end up near the book. I decided instead of the "phonetic approach" I was teaching the "bun-etic approach" but it didn't work very well as a way to teach reading! This was Josh and Beths' kindergarten year, and besides the actual reading instruction I was reading over 100 books to them each month. We were regulars at the library, and if merely exposing them to reading and books could have taught them to read it sure should have happened. They enjoyed the books, but they in no way taught themselves to read. It took work. The books that motivated Josh to read on his own were from a series with titles that started with "Would You Survive..." as a squirrel, deer, fox. etc. These books featured various animals in their habitats, and at various points choices had to be made. For example, when faced with a predator, the reader gets to choose if the animal runs up a tree or hides in a hole in the ground. Based on the choice, the reader is instructed to go to a specific page to continue the story. In addition to teaching about the animals, the stories would have different outcomes depending on the choices the reader made. Josh, like most children with AD/HD, loved the versatility of a story that could be different each time he read it. These books really ignited Josh's love of reading, and soon after he discovered the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series which also gave the reader options that influenced the outcome of the story. Finding books that connect with your child's interest and imagination can make a huge difference in the attitude toward reading. The "Would You Survive" series helped Josh see that reading was not just another required task he had to perform for school, but was actually something that he could enjoy.

Sweet 16

My Beckie is turning 16 on Sunday, and we are having a party for her tomorrow. I had to bring up the idea of a party, because she didn't request one and since she lives in the moment she doesn't usually plan ahead. I've recruited her big sister to help with the party planning, and she strategized with Beckie about how to handle friends of hers who don't get along with each other. She's done it all through Face Book and verbal invites for a few who don't have a Face Book account. I haven't heard how many have responded, and Beckie is never too concerned about details. I'll need to get her to check her responses so we can figure out approximately how many are coming to her party. I did get her cake baked, but although she and her dad went to the store to get the cake mix and ice cream of her choice, they forgot to get frosting. Somehow, it will all come together and my baby will have a good celebration for her 16th birthday.